Brilliant Professor Takes Over News Site

The great Professor Huzzah, who is the most brilliant scientist in the world according to all people who are not wrong, has recently acquired the news site formerly known as TotesRealNews and will be making it even better.

He will be making it so great that it will be by far the greatest news site not only on the internet, but in the universe. HUZZAH FOR GREATNESS!

The previous owner of the site, who shall remain anonymous out of respect for the missing and because this person never revealed their name to Professor Huzzah, has taken an indefinite leave of absence due to a misguided attempt to contact the nightmarish monster the Babadook, and such monsters should never be contacted as the only way to emotionally survive such an encounter is being insane already. Even then it is foolish, and therefore HuzzahNews shall make no efforts to contact the Babadook and ask it to recall whatever it said to Donald Trump a year ago.

While this site will be made so much better than it was before due to its new ownership, all previous articles shall remain on the site. If a reader cannot remember that any articles written before December the Seventeenth of 2017 was created by previous ownership, THAT IS DUE TO THEIR OWN STUPIDITY AND NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PROFESSOR HUZZAH OR HUZZAHNEWS! Besides, there is no need to delete these articles which follow the main governing principle of HuzzahNews, which is to share the news in a way which makes this site different from all other sites, often by reporting on events that the so-called real news media isn’t even aware of.

HUZZAH FOR NEW OWNERSHIP! HUZZAH FOR A NEW PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD…of internet journalism.

 

 

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